The lemonade/junk stand.

A few months ago, I made a post about those overly-ambitious little kids who go door-to-door selling whatever they can find to try and make money so they can take over the world. However, I don't recall writing about their little stand where they sell other stuff. So I made this post about that.

First off, I will show you, from an aerial view, where their stand usually is.

Click to view better. Red box is where the stand usually is.

At 7 AM is usually when they open. The main thing they sell is lemonade. That's ok. But then they also sell whatever they can find, like when they go door-to-door. A list of junk they have sold so far: seashells, flower petals, chips, popcorn, cheese, crackers, candy, paper clips, sunflower seeds, leaves, stickers, and whatever they find in the trash can. The ridiculous part is how they price things. Their sense of money is still not developed completely. I have seen them selling cookies for TWO DOLLARS each and muffins for SIX FUCKING DOLLARS each! In fact, I don't think they have developed ANY sense of money.

Then the way they price things is not consistent. There is no set price for every individual item. The "saleskid" assigns a price randomly to each item sold. So some kid goes up eventually and buys a seashell for $5 instead of 5¢. They don't have sense of money either. Then the saleskids cannot make change. By the time the next customer comes after 2 hours, the price of each individual item has changed, randomly.

Basically, it goes like this:

KID: um.. um... can I have a seashell?
SALESKID: yea! pick one!
KID: *picks broken, tiny shell*
SALESKID: hmmm.... that one is.... um.... FIVE CENTS!
KID: *runs home and brings back a $5 bill instead*
SALESKID: THANK YOU!!!!

Next customer:

KID2: i heard u had seashell!
SALESKID: yup! pick one!
KID2: *picks broken, tiny shell*
SALESKID: hmmm.... *awkward 14-second silence* 15 CENTS!
KID2: OMG THAT EXPENSIVE! *gives $1 bill*
SALESKID: .......
KID2: *runs home with shell*

By the time the saleskids' mom came out, she was astounded by the stack of dollar bills they had. There was no way they could've made so much! She got mad and told them to bring all the extra money back to their customers immediately, but they had forgotten who their customers were, and the customers left anyways. So now she has to deal with ANOTHER burden of knowing her kids are cheating people for their money, and that they have extra money laying around that has been earned wrongly.

Another way they price things is when they sell stuff like chips or popcorn or other things that come in large amounts in bags. Instead of doing "$10 A BAG!!!" (something they would do if they priced by bag), they would do "25¢ FOR A CHIP!!!!!!" and "10¢ FOR A POPCORN!!!!!" Nobody will buy only one chip and give you a quarter. Nobody will buy only one popcorn and give you a dime, either. IDIOTS.

Another stupid thing is how they advertise their stand. I have seen papers taped to neighbor's doors mentioning their stand with their address scribbled incoherently. I have seen signs posted at every corner of the neighborhood pointing to where their stand is. Those signs have even spread out to our main road, Poway road. They are popping up at every corner and I even saw one near the interstate 15 highway exit. Guess how many customers they attracted? TWO. That's their mom and their cat.

When I got off the bus today, I saw this when I was halfway home.

Then as I walked into the neighborhood, I saw the kids already sitting there on the other side of the street  selling chips. They come home from school 3 hours early every day this week. They stared at me like their eyes were emitting tractor beams to try and drag me in to buy a stale chip. I walked faster and went inside. Then I wrote this post.

THE END.