The nerdy pyromanic boy who eats too much

Middle school was filled with weird kids, not just the one who disrupts my classes. This one I will discuss today is one in my eighth grade 2nd period science class. He would arrive in class and immediately take out a bulging paper bag from his backpack and pull out various foods. He would lay the food across his table and just spend the whole class eating while everyone works, as if it was some kind of dining room at home. But it isn't. It's a science class.

Of course, the teacher isn't happy about his student just dilly-dallying in and eating in front of everyone like this is his home.

The problem is this. He ate a HUGE breakfast less than 2 hours ago and is already starving again. He thinks it's because of puberty. But I didn't think so. His body and voice is still developing. He is short. He has NO facial hair at all. He thinks about "little boy" stuff. And yet he consumes food nonstop and doesn't gain an ounce. No exercise either. WHY?!

Then he hides in the corner eating a cookie after getting in trouble.

So about the "little boy" stuff. It isn't exactly little boy stuff, but that is the only term I could come up with, so deal with that.

His mind is all about explosions, fire, destruction, weapons, coconuts, blood, dead stick figures, fighter jets, guns, sharks, bombs, etc.

He also draws violent war scenes on the back of every test, quiz, homework assignment, and handout he is given.

He is also what some would call a "pyro", meaning pyromaniac. Pyro is Latin for "fire" and we all know what a maniac is. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_pyromaniac) <<< The perfect Wikipedia article. It's like they have everything. EVERYTHING.

Pyros like making explosions or blowing things up or setting stuff on fire for pure joy.

His parents also let him play with a flamethrower during the summer.

THE END?

>>> UPDATE!!! <<<

Notice the question mark after "THE END"? I did that because I forgot something that I was gonna include in the post when I was writing it for the first time. I tried to remember but still couldn't after 5 minutes. So I published the post. Now I remember what it was.

The pyro boy liked science class not just because it's his dining room. It was physical science, meaning we would do experiments involving fire and bunsen burners. When an experiment involving fire does come around, I am always in his group. What the teacher does is let us make our own groups. The pyro boy puts me in his group along with some other nerds (not the candy nerds) because I didn't hate him. Yet. Then he would completely take over the group. Instead of doing the proper lab procedures, he would go insane and burn everything that isn't the building or furniture. Or the teacher.

The calorimeter experiment

This one is where we burn various food using matches to estimate their calorie content. We were supposed to burn only two of each item, one at a time. Pyro boy sneaked up to the front of the class where all of the food (which wasn't meant for eating) is kept. He ate half of everything anyways then took almost all of the rest back and burned the whole thing at once. As it burned, he was hypnotized by it. The resulting fireball caused panic and alarm. Fortunately, it didn't cause fire alarm. Then he burnt every match. The next day, he was going on and on about the how awesome the fireball was that singed my hair and I didn't give a damn about what he had to yap on about.

Gas in a 10 gallon jug

This wasn't an experiment, but the teacher demonstrated this at the beginning of the year. He got an empty 10 gallon water jug, filled it with gas, and dropped a match in to show how the gas makes a blue flame and a jet of fire coming out of the top. Pyro boy begged him to do it again over and over, for the rest of the period.

Sugar to caramel

We did this one to demonstrate heat-induced chemical changes. We had a candle, some tinfoil, and a spoonful of sugar. Pyro boy ate several ounces of the sugar supply, became hyper, and proceeded to burn the rest of it tar-black. Then he let the candle burn all the way down while putting paper scraps, matches, and pencil shavings in it.

Ionic compound solution vapor

This one went like this: we would have a metal hook, we would make the hook red-hot in the flame, dip the hook in an ionic compound solution, let the vapor go into the 6 inch flame, and record the color. The color indicated the elements in the compound. Pyro boy kept on putting paper scraps in the flame instead. Then he knocked over 3 bowls of solutions.

All that is why I failed every science lab involving fire; pyro boy does everything himself, but he doesn't pass either because of his improper procedures.