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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Happy 3rd birthday you seven billion+ derps


So here we are. Three years since the founding of this dinky little page. Lots of things have changed over these three years. I've grown to like some people, I've grown to hate some. I've lost old habits and gained new habits. My taste in various things and outlook on life have expanded much. But my sister is still dumb.

And some of my neighbors still belong in the manure section.

But there's some weird nostalgia that goes with this. I feel like this blog isn't much of what it used to be. And there was just that "good old times" vibe when I think back to the summer days of 2010 and 2011, the prime activity of this blog. Those vibes include the feelings of:

When I actually hated everyone much more than I do now

Having the house to myself very frequently for extended amounts of time as opposed to now

Having more time to work on this blog

Playing Frontierville and Farmville and those other silly Facebook games

Dozens of 100 degree days

Summer thunderstorms

Building forts outside my house

Actually interacting and having fun with the neighbors I like (Much interaction has been severed.)

Going swimming every other day until 8 PM

My two old Windows XP computers

Making stupid Youtube Poops all day

Watching endless hours of Phineas and Ferb with my sister

And not having to worry so much about college as I do now.

Much of these things are of the past now. Of course, maybe you don't feel the same nostalgia I do when I think of these things, but they are significant to me because the represent my best summers ever.

I'll still try to post at least once a year.

Anyways moving on. If there was a party for this anniversary, this is how I would picture it...

Me, my sister, and all my friends in a giant room.
Everyone is just floating around singing, defying physics and gravity.
They are also flying around constantly farting.
There's a random old man in a grape costume running in a circle HOWLING LOUDLY nonstop, never taking a breath or break.
Random balloons and rabbits are everywhere.
There's a ten foot tall pile of pink poop in a corner.
There is a raccoon skittering about going REEEEH REEEEEH and occasionally teleporting.
And there is a magic bag that rumbles and pops out food ten times the size of the bag every few seconds.
Then finally, a trio of black guys crashes through the ceiling delivering a cake while "Hallelujah" plays VERY LOUDLY from no clear source.

And the cake looks like this:

Talk about low budget parties.

No I'm not okay. Peace out.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Hello. I am back once again for updates.

It's nearly a month into summer vacation 2013 and my neighborhood has been much less active than it used to be during the summer. No more wild pool parties, no more noise orgies of 8 year olds lasting until 3:22 AM, no more of any of that.

Most of the people around me haven't really changed, they just stopped being annoying for the most part. Or maybe it's just not getting at my nerves anymore.

The three sisters next door have grown older yet look just like they did in 2011, except for the baby sister. She has changed significantly. Unfortunately, she is picking up her sisters' bad influences and was recently caught stealing my garden flowers. The other two sisters maintain their sassy and ignorant attitude and continue to give me and my sister dirty stares whenever they can. Talk about holding a grudge, it has been two years since I caught them stealing from MY HOUSE. Their babysitter is STILL around. She's the one who likes to shout unnecessary warnings like a deranged psychopath when a car crawls into the culdesac, even when it poses no real danger. In fact, I've heard a few disturbing things she has recently shouted at the children playing outside.

"SEE?! THERE'S THE CAR! IF I DIDN'T WARN YOU, THEN BAM! IT WOULD'VE BEEN AROUND THE CORNER LIKE THAT AND YOU'LL BE HIT DEAD!!! MOMMY AND DADDY WILL BE VERY SAD!!!!!"

"YOU KIDS SHOULD BE GLAD I WARN YOU ABOUT THE CARS. THANK ME FOR LIVING ANOTHER DAY EVERY DAY."

*Meanwhile the driver is perfectly non-violent, non-threatening, and proper in his/her driving manner and is just sitting there giving the babysitter a concerned stare*

Someone revoke this woman's licence. She's at least seventy-something driving one of those damn white-people-kid-infested-SUVs and clearly has something against automobiles.

Next house... the two brothers and their annoying sister. Nothing much to note about them.

Next house... my good friend and his sister who is seeming absent from the household most of the week. He's grown more mysterious.

Next house... party central. I thought I would eternally condemn these people. But since the beginning of 2013, I have started caring less about them and not noticing or freaking out as much as I used to about the things they do. The pool parties and other parties have died down. They do still put up that dinky little lemonade stand at least once a month and plaster their childish advertisement signs all over the neighborhood. I have stolen several of their signs and I still have a few of those cardboard abominations.

Today, July 6, 2013, their house has suddenly sprung back to life. Shortly after noon, several cars pulled in. Some of them parked in a rather unacceptable manner. I'm not surprised, it's a white people party and they're still drunk from 'Murica Day. Wait a second... I didn't notice anything from them on 'Murica Day. That's slightly bad. I hope they're not dead. I'm not calling the police either way though.

That white car. AAHHHH. DON'T PARK LIKE THAT.

This photo doesn't even show all the cars. There's a few more scattered about. It is quite a conglomeration, if you ask me. I think it's one of their kids' birthdays.

Anyways, next house... the girl who eats glitter and her brother who likes destroying things with tools an pyrotechnics. They haven't bothered me much so far, but they have hosted a couple low-profile parties since my last activity on this blog. Not too much.

Now switching gears towards my current point in life. I will soon be a high school senior, meaning it's not long until I'm out of this bonkerclonk of a neighborhood and into a place with people I enjoy. Not to mention I'll also have stuff to actually do. FUN stuff. Not test prep ;~;

Anyways, that's all for now. Be good. I'll be back for the third birthday of this blog on the 18th of this month.

HUEPOTATOHUE.

Friday, December 21, 2012

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

MY STUPID NEIGHBORS DIDN'T DIE TODAY! I have LEGITIMATELY been believing for about three years that they'll ACTUALLY die today. I have posted about it so much. And guess what? THEIR CHRISTMAS PARTY (In party central of fucking course) STARTS TONIGHT. THIS IS DEFINITELY A DIRECT MOCKERY TOWARDS ME. AAAHHH.

brb stabbing myself this is bs

Source: My sister witnessing cars and kids streaming into the neighborhood then people holding various good reported to be filing into their house.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Another piece of ridiculousness from Party Central



Today is a rather warm, dry, and windy early November day here in San Diego. Halloween has concluded a few days ago with only minor disturbances. Needless to say, the first holiday of the fall/winter has passed so far without majorly irking me. They even had a party too. And best of all, it ended at a surprisingly early 10 PM. They have been known to drag into 2 AM. And you know how it is with me and their parties.

However, something else has happened today that irked me. A sign was posted and the stupid "Tiki Stand" was up once again today. I know it's the work of the boys at Party Central. They are the only ones who have any history at all of putting signs around the neighborhood attempting to advocate their shitty little stand. They also are the only ones who have a history of a stand like this and selling (overpriced) crap they pulled out of their attic.

So as usual, my instinct kicked in.

I nabbed the sign... in direct line-of-sight of the boys and they didn't notice. Figures. The new young generation is increasingly stupid and ignorant.

Then I nonchalantly walked back home with the sign. Here's a photo of it with an accompanying caption.

"Please 50¢ helP the kids that 50¢ ▓▓▓▓ are starving and have no home
and need money for their stuff that they need" (This is obviously a child's
handwriting)

The grammar and wording on this are killing me. But I found something funny out of this. It sounds like they are begging 50 Cent (the rapper) to help homeless children.

This dude.

But enough of that. Lemme get back on track.

What is bothering me is that they are obviously not working for any charity. (I don't see any logos or official thingys anywhere.) They are 4th grade boys whose mom can be described as "modern", "ignorant", "lazy", "rich", "extremely bitchy" and "greedy". And she's obviously a faggotress (female faggot, ok??) because she's the only one in the neighborhood with a political poster in her front lawn. The worst part is that it says Romney Ryan.

So with my knowledge and unpleasant encounters with this degenerate mom, I am 100.8% certain that not only is she NOT an official worker for some charity and that she probably does not run a charity, but what little money her sons get out of this she will just take and stuff up her greedy little pooper for herself. Sheeeit. She doesn't even need anymore damn money. Much less anymore fun.

She should be charged for using her own kids to make money fraudulently and misleadingly.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Quadruple party 08/03/2012

I'll say this first: I STILL FUCKING HATE MY NEIGHBORS. All it takes is some noise and my hate can return from dormancy to rage in a snap. Like Mt Saint Helens.

Today, as you can tell from the title, four houses are engaged in noise. Sort of an orgy. It has lasted all afternoon and RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE *THIS* at 6:08 PM it's still going on.

This map will be used as reference throughout the post:

Green circle is me, as always.

Starting with house 1. They have recently acquired new backyard furniture as seen below. (I thought I'd point that out because it may have an influence on future parties.) This is where three stupid girls who are scum, their parents who don't do SHIT and a loud bitchy babysitter who apparently lives there live. That woman is so loud teaching her to be quieter is invalid. Deny her right to a mouth. Summer is when they are active the most, and awake the earliest. You see, my window is open during the day and night because it gets very hot in my house and to my parents, our fully functional A/C is not an option. That's why I open the damn window. Problem is the people in house 1 make lots of noise early in the morning, like at 6:30 and my window is almost always open. A few days ago I was awoken suddenly and I was very startled and quite actually scared because they suddenly began to shout. When the mom leaves to work they all scream "BYEeEEeeeEEEE" as if she's driving off to her death. They also just stand in their backyard like morons and blabber off about potato sex like they have a sound shield so nobody can hear them. Except they don't. Their conversations echo throughout the cool 6:30 air and can wake the dead. That might be beneficial though. They would make great zombie food.



I just don't fucking understand what seems to be their absolute need to be so loud so early. Or late. Sometimes when I'm asleep or about to doze off I am shattered awake by... shattering. They throw clumps of glass beer bottles into their bin every night because they are disrespectful drunk lazyasses. Okay. That's enough for house 1.

WAIT. CRAP. I got sidetracked. I was also supposed to write about the party in this house going on today :S. Oh well. It's full of drunk adults sitting in the backyard (they were inside when I took the photo, but still loudly talking/laughing nonetheless) constantly laughing over what appears to be nothing. They don't seem to feel anything about behaving like this in front of 3 little girls, all under 11. All those people (excluding the girls) are probably going to have a huge orgy on the roof later. Ok. NOW I'm done with house 1.

Listen below to a 6 minute recording of the noise going on. This was recorded from the same window seen above. This is a very small bit of what I may have to deal with tonight. Remember, closing my window will probably microwave me and my parents hate A/C. So torture night it is.

video

In house 2 today there is pounding music reverberating out of it and about 20 shitsmeller kids inside screaming and the parents sitting around the TV drinking and laughing at pieces of paper, not giving half a dung beetle fart about anything outside a 5 foot radius. But to top this, they feel the need to keep their front door wide open and broadcast everything outside. I just hope they don't hack into communications systems to broadcast their stupidity. That means war.

In house 3 (Party Central), major construction noise has been emitting out of it in a constant stream for a week now, primarily composed of guys with heavy Hispanic accents and their miter saw. Today is the "carpet stage" of what ever the fucksack is going on inside. My first impression of it earlier was a pool overhaul and I was just thinking: "OHH HELL NOOOOOOO!". But today I saw the carpet rolls (I first thought they were pipes for the pool and was about to get convinced, but closer inspection revealed the carpet texture.) and that disproved the pool overhaul theory. So it's in the house only. But it could still have to do with parties. Examples: Sound system upgrade, wall repainting, more electric outlets, improved home cinema, more lights, etc. So I continue to monitor the construction.



Also today there were a bunch of kids running around in swimwear, so no pool work is possible. You can't exactly use it when it's being dug up without you dying. Still, too bad none of the kids fell in the miter saw. I'm kind of hungry.

But one last thing I don't get is: HOW THE SHIT DOES THAT LAZYASS MOM OF THOSE KIDS AFFORD THIS AND ALL ELSE SHE DOES, SITTING ON HER ASS WITH HER FRIENDS ALL DAY DRINKING AND PLANNING PARTIES?! SHE NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE EXCEPT TO BUY DECORATIONS AND FOOD AND DILDOES! FUCKING DILDOES!!!!! AND WHERE IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE IS HER HUSBAND? KIDS NEED DADS TOO!!! (This woman is the same person that made me want to shit on everything she loves, back in December: http://this-irritates-me.blogspot.com/2011/12/2011-christmas-party-disaster.html)

K. Enough with house 3.

House 4 simply has the garage open and light activity and noise. Not much from me to say, but I'm still suspicious nonetheless.


A side note: The red angled T shape on the map at the top is where there is A FUCKLOAD of cars are parked right now. I can just feel the CO2 suffocating me.

So to sum up this post: I am currently surrounded with 2 houses full of retarded drunk people, one of them full of smelly kids and another also full of smelly kids and one house that may have something up inside.

And if you've been clicking on the pictures in hopes of a street sign, address, face or licence plate, fuck off. I blurred them, dipshits. Damn. I need juice. See you guys later.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Update regarding Party Central

They have been almost completely dead in terms of activity since last December. And for the past week, they aren't even home. But the thing is there are other people in the house I have not seen before (they look like workers) and I hear sawing, hammering, pounding, motors whirring loudly and all kinds of other noises related to construction, going on all day since they have disappeared. I hope to dear god it's just a remodel/home improvement. If it is ANYTHING that will make their parties/pool parties even more noisy and fancy I won't even know what to do anymore. I think I'll just wait for a natural disaster to wipe them away.

Now regarding my other neighbors, all have gone down to 0.1 activity. That is very low. Maybe the era of annoying neighbors is over, or maybe I should just wait until fall and winter, when they come back to life and have more parties. Then it is surprise butt rape-sex time.