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Saturday, January 1, 2011

The year New Year's Eve was ruined by a laundry basket? Here's how.

Laundry baskets seem inanimate and innocent; incapable of doing any harm. Of course, on its own. Having 10 kids playing with it while partying simultaneously with over 20 other kids may cause it to do "harm" and me and my farty sister ended up not getting invited to a New Years party because of that.


But before I dig into this post, I need to tell you that if you look at my previous post, disregard anything about the laundry basket there. It wasn't the tall dark kid. It was the older boy living at party central. Oh how I HATE that place now. If they would all die RIGHT NOW, I wouldn't care at all. In fact, I would go skydiving to celebrate.


So it was a rainy Friday night on December 17, 2010. Me and my sister were headed off to party central because she got invited to a Christmas party and I need to watch her. After about an hour, all the little kids were upstairs in one of the boy's rooms playing with the laundry basket and I was there with a babysitter 1 or 2 years older than me. He is more of a peer and I can tolerate him x100 better than the kids.

It reached one point where the kids went insane and started to jump off of the bed and into the basket, pulling it back and forth, dragging it around, and mutilating it. Me and the other guy were just standing there, chatting, watching to make sure noBODY (not noTHING) gets hurt or damaged. So we didn't care when the basket broke. I had no idea it was going to ruin the party for us next week.

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The next morning, all I know is that me and my family were looking out our front door in confusion to see a beat up laundry basket sitting there that was vaguely familiar to me. I didn't realize it was indeed the one from the party until 2 or 3 days afterwards.

There was no note or anything near the basket, nothing. So we put it by the trash can to throw out later. AND IT CAME BACK TO OUR DOOR, THAT EVENING. My family got upset and thought it was some stupid joke and we threw it away. (In Chinese culture, it is an EXTREME insult to put trash at someone's door.) That was before I realized it was the one from the party.

Now going to last night. WWWWOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHH.....

It was supposed to be the night of the New Year's party, and it was. No wonder it seemed fishy when we didn't receive an invitation for no good reason. I thought for sure that the evil little girl living next door to us was behind that. She is the only one who would do that because she hates my sister and would do anything to prevent her from having fun. But no. It wasn't her. It was the mom at party central. Someone told one kid and he told another kid and he went to tell the mom's son and he told his mom that I broke it. So then without ANY warning or confirmation, or even asking us anything, they just not invite us.

Similar incident with the basket. They found a broken basket after the party. Then they just CHOOSE someone, anyone, preferably the oldest Asian (by now, this has been a recurring pattern) because they may be slightly racist, to blame it on. Or is it because I'm *mocking tone* "weeshhponshhibole" (responsible) for everything that happens, because I'm Asian. YOU SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGES! IT'S YOUR HOUSE, NOT MINE! I SHOULDN'T BE TAKING CARE OF IT! YOU INVITE 30+ KIDS INTO YOUR HOUSE AND NOT EXPECT ANY DAMAGE?! SUCK IT UP AND ADMIT THERE'S GOING TO BE SOMETHING BROKEN, WHETHER ITS A DAMN BASKET OR SOMEONE'S BONE(S)! YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF, YOU PAY FOR IT! NOT ME, NOT MY DAD! YOU!

Or is this some sort of complex moneymaking scheme? Holding parties so something can break and you blame it on someone and tell them to pay for it? In that case, I would be EVEN angrier.

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Oh, and in the beginning of this post, I mentioned the older boy (aged 9) was the one who put the basket at our door. His mom told him to. HIS MOM. I cant believe his own mom told him to put trash at someone's door, without asking, without knocking on the door, and not doing anything afterwards. HOW CAN YOU JUST EXPECT THAT WE WOULD SUDDENLY, AUTOMATICALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED IF YOU DO THAT?! WE HAD NO IDEA!!


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All I know now is that I will NEVER get over this, I will ALWAYS hate those neighbors from now on, and every laundry basket has a special spot in my pit of hate.

There are only three slightly positive things I got out of this whole hoopla.

1) I hate them even more. I thrive off of hating things.

2) All this is now in the past and the past does not physically exist in a solid form, it is only a memory in our heads. Memories are stored as electrical impulses.

3) My FarmVille crops didn't wither because I was home to take care of them.

4) This post.

Wait, that's four things.

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Anyways, now my list of easy-to-follow New Year's resolutions.

Make a post: Done.

Jump up and down: Done.

Smash a pineapple: Done.

Eat chocolate: Done.

Wait until January 2nd: Can't mess that up.

Compare mustard to a table: Done. You can't smear tables in a sandwich. And tables don't taste good unlike mustard.

Look at a tree: Done.

Watch that car outside: Done.

Post a picture of a pomegranate for the first time: Done.


Say "PURPLE CHEESE!!" to my sister: Done.

Now I'm out of ideas.

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