I thought teeth were for eating, not tapping and scratching.

My sister has recently discovered that tapping and scratching her front-upper teeth brings great joy to her. Since that (unfortunate) discovery, she has transformed into a farting, yellow-teeth-tapping, crooked-backed, rancid-breathed, dead-eyed, club-penguin-addicted cretin.

The speed of the tapping can vary, from about 1 tap per second to about 3. She can also tap very hard or do it in a way that causes a clicking noise along with the tap. She also uses multiple fingers to tap.

Like I mentioned, she also scratches her teeth. She scratches the upper teeth only, at a VERY rapid speed, almost as if she wants to saw them off.

This incessant tooth-torture has caused her teeth, especially the front-upper ones, to grow outward and have an increasingly large gap between them.

Front view.

Side view.

I wonder how this affects her social life, especially at school or in public. I mean, how weird is it to see a farting, crooked-backed girl walking around tapping and scratching her own teeth while mumbling about Club Penguin?

I also wonder how she will explain this to the dentist. The dentist will probably be angrier than a hornet's nest that got water-ballooned. The dentist will probably make her wear braces.

Speaking of braces, she actually seems excited to get them. Who would want plastic bits glued to your teeth and attached to each other with metal wire? And won't she be unable to tap them due to the braces which will cause her extreme distress?

I just hope she doesn't end up like this when they get the braces removed, because I hear it is long-lasting pain:

The DOUCHEBAG on the bus goes round and round!

At least I hope he does, on one of those spinning wheels that you tie someone to and throw knives at!

The year New Year's Eve was ruined by a laundry basket? Here's how.

Laundry baskets seem inanimate and innocent; incapable of doing any harm. Of course, on its own. Having 10 kids playing with it while partying simultaneously with over 20 other kids may cause it to do "harm" and me and my farty sister ended up not getting invited to a New Years party because of that.

But before I dig into this post, I need to tell you that if you look at my previous post, disregard anything about the laundry basket there. It wasn't the tall dark kid. It was the older boy living at party central. Oh how I HATE that place now. If they would all die RIGHT NOW, I wouldn't care at all. In fact, I would go skydiving to celebrate.

So it was a rainy Friday night on December 17, 2010. Me and my sister were headed off to party central because she got invited to a Christmas party and I need to watch her. After about an hour, all the little kids were upstairs in one of the boy's rooms playing with the laundry basket and I was there with a babysitter 1 or 2 years older than me. He is more of a peer and I can tolerate him x100 better than the kids.

It reached one point where the kids went insane and started to jump off of the bed and into the basket, pulling it back and forth, dragging it around, and mutilating it. Me and the other guy were just standing there, chatting, watching to make sure noBODY (not noTHING) gets hurt or damaged. So we didn't care when the basket broke. I had no idea it was going to ruin the party for us next week.

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The next morning, all I know is that me and my family were looking out our front door in confusion to see a beat up laundry basket sitting there that was vaguely familiar to me. I didn't realize it was indeed the one from the party until 2 or 3 days afterwards.

There was no note or anything near the basket, nothing. So we put it by the trash can to throw out later. AND IT CAME BACK TO OUR DOOR, THAT EVENING. My family got upset and thought it was some stupid joke and we threw it away. (In Chinese culture, it is an EXTREME insult to put trash at someone's door.) That was before I realized it was the one from the party.

Now going to last night. WWWWOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHH.....

It was supposed to be the night of the New Year's party, and it was. No wonder it seemed fishy when we didn't receive an invitation for no good reason. I thought for sure that the evil little girl living next door to us was behind that. She is the only one who would do that because she hates my sister and would do anything to prevent her from having fun. But no. It wasn't her. It was the mom at party central. Someone told one kid and he told another kid and he went to tell the mom's son and he told his mom that I broke it. So then without ANY warning or confirmation, or even asking us anything, they just not invite us.

Similar incident with the basket. They found a broken basket after the party. Then they just CHOOSE someone, anyone, preferably the oldest Asian (by now, this has been a recurring pattern) because they may be slightly racist, to blame it on. Or is it because I'm *mocking tone* "weeshhponshhibole" (responsible) for everything that happens, because I'm Asian. YOU SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGES! IT'S YOUR HOUSE, NOT MINE! I SHOULDN'T BE TAKING CARE OF IT! YOU INVITE 30+ KIDS INTO YOUR HOUSE AND NOT EXPECT ANY DAMAGE?! SUCK IT UP AND ADMIT THERE'S GOING TO BE SOMETHING BROKEN, WHETHER ITS A DAMN BASKET OR SOMEONE'S BONE(S)! YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF, YOU PAY FOR IT! NOT ME, NOT MY DAD! YOU!

Or is this some sort of complex moneymaking scheme? Holding parties so something can break and you blame it on someone and tell them to pay for it? In that case, I would be EVEN angrier.

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Oh, and in the beginning of this post, I mentioned the older boy (aged 9) was the one who put the basket at our door. His mom told him to. HIS MOM. I cant believe his own mom told him to put trash at someone's door, without asking, without knocking on the door, and not doing anything afterwards. HOW CAN YOU JUST EXPECT THAT WE WOULD SUDDENLY, AUTOMATICALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED IF YOU DO THAT?! WE HAD NO IDEA!!

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All I know now is that I will NEVER get over this, I will ALWAYS hate those neighbors from now on, and every laundry basket has a special spot in my pit of hate.

There are only three slightly positive things I got out of this whole hoopla.

1) I hate them even more. I thrive off of hating things.

2) All this is now in the past and the past does not physically exist in a solid form, it is only a memory in our heads. Memories are stored as electrical impulses.

3) My FarmVille crops didn't wither because I was home to take care of them.

4) This post.

Wait, that's four things.

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Anyways, now my list of easy-to-follow New Year's resolutions.

Make a post: Done.

Jump up and down: Done.

Smash a pineapple: Done.

Eat chocolate: Done.

Wait until January 2nd: Can't mess that up.

Compare mustard to a table: Done. You can't smear tables in a sandwich. And tables don't taste good unlike mustard.

Look at a tree: Done.

Watch that car outside: Done.

Post a picture of a pomegranate for the first time: Done.

Say "PURPLE CHEESE!!" to my sister: Done.

Now I'm out of ideas.

I will KILL the kid who is vandalizing my house!!

This is an ongoing issue with my across-the-street neighbor, especially their son who is very dark-looking, plays basketball all day, never talks, aged about 17 or 18, and has several friends, all as rotten as him.

His house in red, mine in green.

This is his house. His basketball hoop is on the right. My house is just
across the street, behind the camera.

The first sign of his RECENT vandalism was on the morning of Dec. 18, 2010, the day after a wild Christmas party at "Party Central". He put a broken laundry basket at our front door. My mom was the one who first found it. We pushed the basket next to the garbage bin to throw away later. Well, guess what? THE LAUNDRY BASKET "GHOSTED" ITS WAY BACK TO OUR DOOR THAT NIGHT! (I use the word "ghosted" to indicate something mysteriously moving.)

We just threw out the basket to keep this from continuing.

Then in the following days, we had a nonstop rainstorm lasting 4 days. In the middle of it, he went up to our tree on our lawn in the middle of the night and SMASHED a large 12" red plastic SHATTERproof (not smashproof) ornament. The following morning, I found it, sitting on our lawn with a large, jagged hole and the paint chipped off of the bottom. How do I know he did this? The ornament couldn't have fallen, as the branch it was on was pointed upwards. And if it did fall off, it would've just bounced off of the bush at the base of the tree and landed safely.

The ornament was like this one, but red. There's his house in the
background.

The tree boxed in red on the left is the one with the hanging
ornaments. The large tree boxed in red on the right is 3 years
gone, indicating this picture is old.

Another recent event of vandalism is when he jammed our mailbox, about 2 or 3 nights ago. How did he know which mailbox is ours? His house is the only one with a clear view of the front of the mailbox. All the other houses see the side, back, or it is too distant to read the numbers.

The mailbox is boxed in red. The black arrow indicates where my house is.

Another thing. Last night, my dad noticed that as he pulled into the driveway, that kid peering out of his window towards our house. Then he suddenly disappeared from the window. His room normally has a ceiling fan running, a blue light, the windows wide open, and shutters open and out of view. Now there is no light, the window is closed, shutters all the way down, and almost completely closed. And like I just said, he was peering outside. VERY suspicious to me.

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All this recent vandalism is not his first. This began a LONG time ago, like in 2002. He would throw things at our house, and so would his friends. He also would send some kid to pound heavily on our door then run away. One time, my dad ran out with a box knife to scare them. It worked.

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Our family has recently become rather prosperous, while his has remained the same, the upper limit of being poor. He has been using the same, beat up old car for so long, probably even back to 10 years before he moved here. He is probably jealous that we can buy new things so often, as he can witness it from his window. But in order to witness it, you have to be peering out all day waiting, like a creepy homocidal psycopath who watches little kids when they're alone.

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Our car is a new, $85,000 Mercedes-Benz we got last summer that I KNOW he is gonna do something to, in the very near future. 

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PLEASE help me! I want this to stop now! I CANNOT hold in the anger any longer! I will let it loose all over the kids house and his face, and it will be HELL. The thing is, my dad won't let me do anything until we have solid proof. I think we already have a good amount of proof and evidence.

I can't wait for CHRISTMAS!

Sorry it took so long for a new post. Let's just say people have been breathing down my neck and watching my every move which IS NOT HELPFUL AT ALL!

So I hope I get PRESENTS!

Grievances of Facebook

Facebook is AWESOME. But that doesn't mean it doesn't have any cons or annoyances. Here is a list of my grievances in order of how much I hate them from least to greatest:

- FarmVille posts
I play FV regularly, so I really don't mind at all, while others FREAK OUT over them and make every effort to make sure they never see the posts again otherwise they go apeshit.

- Quiz results
There are many quizzes hovering around in FB. I don't mind much either. It's actually kind of fun to see what results YOU might get.

- People who post stuff on your wall
The particular stuff I'm talking about is those "Yes/No" or question apps. Sometimes, those things get on my nerves.

- People who post YouTube videos all the time
WHY POST A YOUTUBE VIDEO IF YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT?!?! It makes no fucking sense. Just send all your friends a private message with the link instead of letting me see various songs I don't really care about and Justin Bieber ALL OVER my news feed.

- People who make famous (philosophical) quotes as their statuses.
Doing that does not get attention!! It doesn't make you look all fancy or smart. Sometimes, the quote doesn't even match who you are. So stop it.

- People who put lyrics of a song I never heard before as their status
Don't get me started. Here's what it basically is: "[song]heartheartheartheart".

- Those like websites
I posted about this before. Let me just say it again. THOSE WEBSITES ARE FUCKING STUPID. All it does is clog up my news feed about how "[Name] Likes 22 items on [heart symbol] and 63 similar stories". Some people have four five six SEVEN times more likes than everything else they've ever done, combined.

- Pointless statuses
Saying "Blah" or "Mehhhh" doesn't mean anything to me other than "BEEP BEEP NEWS FEED JUNK ALERT!!! BEEP BEEP"

- People who can't decide on a relationship status
"Married", "Engaged", "In a relationship", "It's complicated"...
PICK ONE!!!

- Notifications that have nothing to do with me
I don't need to get 37 notifications because I liked something and people began arguing in the comments section of it and EVERY SINGLE thing they say goes to my notifications. So it's like this: I like a picture of a person. Then someone says something irrelevant about the color orange that goes into my notifications AND starts a fight. So for the next 48 hours, every single thing they say goes to me also.

- Heart attack
No, not the health problem "heart attack". I mean seeing hearts after every sentence or word in statuses. Or just hearts. My news feed is like this now: "Yay going to the mall!!!!!heartheartheart" or "[famous quote]heartheartheart".

- People who tag me in pictures or videos
The only problem is, I'M NEVER IN THE PICTURE OR VIDEO!! Why am I tagged as a cloud with 137 other people tagged around me?!

- Annoying apps/events
I'm talking about those "Horrible accident", "This girl killed herself after seeing what her dad posted to her wall", "Sad story", etc. apps and events. IF I HAVE TO SEE ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE, I WILL FUCKING EXPLODE. All they do is post stuff to your wall without permission, leading your friends to do the same. It's a vicious loop. They also make you have to take surveys and quizzes that just triple your cell phone bill because you just had to subscribe to a stupid IQ quiz to see dead people.

- Even more annoying apps/events
These are the ones where you "get to see who's been viewing your profile" or "see who's been viewing your pictures". These are FAKE. They don't work or do anything good. Same as above, they make you take STUPID surveys and quizzes so you can triple your phone bill. If it isn't like that, it brings you to a picture of a website and and a "Connect to Facebook" button and the URL is very suspicious. This is the one-way ticket to getting hacked.

I will keep adding to this as things come along. Meanwhile, CHEESECAKE!

IWASHIGHLASTNIGHT

No, not really. But I'm really good at pretending to be. !!!ICECREAM!!!

As the night progressed, I slowly descended into psychological chaos. I decided to try and draw a tree for NO reason at all.

I tried to draw a tree, but this happened.

2nd attempt at drawing a tree.

I gave up and tried to draw a fractal instead.

Fail. But being high allows you to draw photo-realistically!

Since I was "high", familiar objects became unfamiliar. I found a "OMGOMGITSABOX" lying on the floor. I saw a red button. I pushed it. It's safe to say that was a mistake.

The beeping set me off. I turned into a manic, right after scribbling on the wall behind me.

Then familiar sounds became unfamiliar, too.

Just like the box, the incessant dinging threw me into insanity.

The only words I could think of were:

After that "episode", I calmed down and found where the dinging was from. And our couch ended up in the toilet.

My sister.

I short-circuited again.

I calmed down again after 36 minutes.

At this point, the highness was wearing off. And my sister drew a crappy rainbow on the wall.

This video sums it all up. A lot of chaos and confusion, then you go right back where you started.